If i tore my heart in two, I would give you the half that is still beating [entries|friends|calendar] Dominique [ website | myspace ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

2 felt just like falling in love orlando [Monday, July 3rd, 2006 @ 2:25am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | jessica and sam talking ] so right now im in orlando staying at jessicas, i really do love it here... good friends and a life of which ive been lacking in ft laud. when i was in central fla i wanted south fla back. its funny life isnt always greener on the other side. tomorrow i get to see amber then fireworks at billys house with everyone and then me and amber r going to tampa to sleep at janets, then going to kristis fam BBQ on the 4th of july, then back to otown for downtown disney dinner fireworks and maybe pleasure island. i really love the ppl here ricky, dina, nat, and then all the UCF ppl, i cant wait to get my cosmotology license and move me and amber might get a place together. um i think im gonna go 4 wheeling on saturday with amber and then home on sunday, and backkkk to work ewwie! randy was supposed to come july 5th - 8th but it didnt work out, its been 6 months since ive seen that boy and tyler too,i really miss my bestfriends sometimes... i wish i could jsut snap my fingers and have both of them here ok thats about all for now night night

2 felt just like falling in love change isnt always a bad thing... [Sunday, June 25th, 2006 @ 4:17pm] [ mood | determined ] [ music | copeland - california ] this is a comment i left my bestfriend maegan on myspace today: ♥Dollface♥ 6/25/2006 3:25 PM i was so happy when you called me today:) it made my day. i was on my way to church and at church the sermon was on how christianity isnt like a war it is a war, and how we need to be soldiers and pick up our crosses and fight. and about how can u really be a soldier if you arent fully comitted, that you cant live a compromised life. and i know that there are things in my life that i am compromising with that is the reason i didnt want to go to camp n be a leader bc how could i help otherkids be on fire when im not myself. but i decided that im going to stop compromising, and theres a group they are starting at calvary on friday nights for college age kids from 18-35 so i think i might check that out. and with you and shirah living down here next year i expect u guys to help me out<3 i love you... hope to talk to you soon and one thing that ive learned about myself from talking to aaron that id like to change is the fact that i always say maybe things will change or i think things are about to change... i need to stop saying maybe and thinking things are gonna change i need to say things are going to change and make a difference! its like being straight edge, its a commtiment that u have to make, no sex drugs or drinking... not for everyone but for some and the some that it is for. it becomes a commitment and a way of life, they cant decide they want to be xxx one day and drink the next then go back to being xxx. so i am giving up the things that i know are making me strattle the fence, its gonna be hard yes thats a given, but with Gods help and friends help i can do it, its so much easier to never do it in the first place, bc then u never know what your missing out on and you never want it bc u never know what it feels like to have it.

1 felt just like falling in love theres something in the water... [Thursday, June 22nd, 2006 @ 7:18pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | david melillo- wait for it ] thats making everyone cut their hair, my bro comes home from nyc and has a shaved head, then randy calls me and tells me he chopped all his hair off, then ricky texts me today saying he pretty much shaved his head bc his hair was annoying him... i wish i could just shave my hair off bc its annoying me, and im tired of doing it...and still look normal haha havnt really updated lately nothing to update about, work has been good and nothing really new. oh yea i talked to this kid john the other night that i used to know from church a looong time ago, for the first time in years... he was like why are u reaching out to me now? and i was like honestly i dont know, i saw ur myspace and something told me to leave u a comment and get back in touch with you so here i am. and now were supposed to go out to dinner friday night and catch up. we will see how that goes... i love the kinda friends that can just pick up right where they left off when they last saw each other. oh yea going with derrick to brandnew im excited about that, theres no one else id rather be with on that day<3

1 felt just like falling in love [Monday, June 19th, 2006 @ 8:04pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Let go - Frou Frou ] guess whos going to brand new???? thats right I am, and im only paying 30$ I went on ebay and got 2 tickets for 60$ and im either going with jillian or my brother, that is still undetermined. im excited! i think its good ill be keeping myself busy on that day... june 27th, that day will go down in history for me. and i am so emotionless when it comes to that accident that i dont even know if that day will be a big deal to me or not. I mean the way i see it: -I could have died +God saved my life +it wasnt anyones fault -except for me for not having myseatbelt on +Its almost been a year and im back to normal(as normal as i can be) ++ no point in focusing on what happened, just live every day like it could be you last... with no regrets. i didnt cry when in the hospital, i wasnt mad, and its not even that i was numb to it all... i just took it for what it was, nothing more nothing less... and moved on I guess thats what i need to do with other things in my life not focus on them so much and what could have happened, not crying, or making it a huge deal and thinking about it 24/7 just taking it for what it is, and moving on, a friend said to me once "accepting everything for what they are......not fighitng it.......not praisin it........creates a possiblitiy for u to focus on the now ........not the past.........not the future. just whats going on infront of you." and after having that conversation with that friend last night i think a lot is about to change in my life yes thats right i said change... dun, dun, dun. the one thing that i hate more than anything and im scared to death of, i think im gonna try taking a different approach... accepting it so we will see how it goes, in a way i kinda feel good about this p.s. i dont think i have ever been able to use the content feeling in my moods, but tonight with this i am ... content:) and i kinda like it.

5 felt just like falling in love [Saturday, June 17th, 2006 @ 1:08am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | dashboard confessional- brilliant dance ] so lifes lookin on the up and up work is good, friends are good, and life is pretty much good... i mean once i realized to just sit back and take it one day at a time, stop focusing so much on the past and live for the moment! stop focusing on old memories and make new memories! although i do have to say i cant wait to get done beauty school so that i can get licensed and move out of here, maybe move with amber or bonnie somewhere or something... anything but here. jessica bought her TBS ticket today so shes going with me( i cant wait for that) and matt from work found 2 brand new tickets for sale on ebay so me and cari might buy them who knows, i really wanna go to that though! the brand new concert is the day of the one year anniversary of the accident, its hard to believe it almost happened a year ago... part of me feels like it was yesterday, and then the other part feels like it was all a dream and that it wasnt real. like i just opened my eyes and awoke from that nightmare. and p.s. my face is red like a beat from laying out for an hour today haha well thats all for now<3 love you all, goodnight Dominique

2 felt just like falling in love [Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 @ 11:22pm] [ mood | nervous ] [ music | Brand New - The boy who blocked his own shot ] Love what is love? we all want it, and some have it...and yet some are scared to death of it. I can honeltly say that i have loved another. with all of my heart and soul, with all of me. To the point where i know in my heart that i would do ANYTHING for that person weather asked or not. But one thing that i have learned is that love can hurt like hell... it can be the greatest thing in the world and make you so incredibaly happy. And at the same time can turn a world completly unsidedown. one sentance as simple as i dont love you anymore can bring you to your knees in a heartbeat. I have never been in love - i think that loving another and being in love are 2 completly different things. I firmly believe that in order to be in love you have to be in a relationship with someone and it comes with time and you both have to be on the same page. But once again i have loved another and at the same time had another love me. How do i know they loved me you ask? not because he told me that he loved me, but because of his actions more or less. The fact that we were each others worlds played a huge part in it. And right now i dont know if he still feels the same as he once did, so for the sake of things he will remain annomyous. The thing that stuns most people was that we both loved each other, and openly told each other that we loved each other... but never once dated. It was more of a friendship built up to love, in the sence that i would have risked my life for that boy if needed, and im sure he felt the same. but it all comes down to once simple question... Do you still love me? and im still waiting for the answer on that one, because i can honestly say i dont know how he feels anymore. Part of me wants to know the answer to that question so badly, because i hate not knowing where i stand with someone. But part of me dosent because im scared that he might say he dosent know or that he dosent anymore... then ill be left to do all that there is to do... move on, move forward, not forget a friend but cherish the memories. Things change and people change because nothing is constant, all things change. but one thing im certian of, that will never change are those memories, and maybe our feelings will change toward each other and well slowly drift apart. But atleast Those memories are set in stone and nothing can shake them, they will never falter. Dominique ::edit:: "I will always love you, already told you that."

1 felt just like falling in love [Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 @ 12:55am] [ mood | optimistic ] [ music | straylight run ] I find that its always later in the night i actually have something to write about, maybe thats because i actually have time to sit down and think about things... so i talked to randy last night, for the first time in weeks and i do have to say that i did miss him and our friendship, but for whatever reasons we werent talking... and i hate to say it im afraid that actually kinda hurt our friendship. i mean weve gotten in agruments before and not spoken for a month and this wasnt as long, but im afraid this time is different, like it wont go back to how it was and us loving each other and everything being normal again... i guess that scared me a little, but in talking with my twin tonight i realized, that maybe thats good that it didnt feel the same. Because before nothing changed and we just went back to our love hate relationship. so maybe this time something will change somehow. and another thing i realized was that i say this all the time but the times that matter most when im freaking out because i dont know what to do, i dont realize this... and that is that EVERYTHING HAPPENES FOR A REASON i am a firm believer that God has a plan for everything, and sometimes he just sits back and lets things happen even bad things, because he knows that in the end u will be a stronger person because you went through that trial. so next time i dont know what to do and im afraid and worried i realized i need to sit back and take a deep breathe and say to myself God is in control, if its meant to be it will be. well all i do know if that i cant wait to move forward in my life and start beauty school, and get out there, and see what God has instore for me, and who God has in store for me at that;) stop focusing on what could have been and what i think should have been. bc if it was meant to be it would be. and theres 100000 x better out there for me than what i think is the best ive had. goodnight:) Dominique

7 felt just like falling in love everyone deserves a fresh start right... [Tuesday, June 13th, 2006 @ 12:48am] [ mood | thoughtful ] so i just went through and deleted every single enry i have ever made in this thing. why you ask because im starting over, i stopped writing in here because i was tired of who i was and how i always write about the same sads things. But i hate to say it, it took that accident almost taking my life to reall change me and make me realize how good i have it, and how i shouldnt take ANYTHING for granted! it went all the way back to may 2004 thats a while back. From entries about craig, to me graduating highschool, to starting southeastern, to loving it there, to hating it there, to meeting amber bonnie randy n tyler, to crushes, to heartbreaks, to boyfriends (branden), to break ups, to randy moving away, to the accident, to new years 06. and that was my last entry... but one thing i realized, from the beginning that i always wanted and still want, is consistancy... haha still have yet to figure that one out. so its time to start fresh, new beginnings. its now june 06 and im 20. My life is heading in a different direction(hairstlyist.) i have lost some friends and gained some and some friends have remained through all the ups and downs throughout the year. so im starting over, seeing where these entries go however long i keep this thing:) and to all my friends who still read these entries... ive missed you and your advice! Dominique

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